Funny As A Fictoid

While truth may be stranger than fiction, a fictoid is definitely funnier than a factoid, says the author of an hysterical new book.

What exactly is a fictoid? A fictoid is a bit of fictional history making a statement or telling a story in one sentence.

"A typical fictoid tells who did what, when and where," says Bill Dutcher, author of "Fictoids: Short Fiction...Very Short" (Dutcher & Company, $12). Neither historically accurate nor politically correct, the book takes a random walk through cultural history from 1220 B.C. to 2004.

Readers can learn who invented self-storage and who invented both the periodic table and the occasional chair; why Henry the Ninth couldn't get a date; who founded General Eclectic; who recorded "You were always there for me...but I was always here"; who told his bankers "You can call my loan, but it won't come"; who opened a high-priced helium bar, believed to be New York's first Squeak Easy; and whose unauthorized autobiography sold more than one million copies.

The book introduces such colorful characters as Sleeping Beauty's sister Lazy Susan, Norwegian film star Harrison Fjord, classical rap artist Yo Yo Mama and assistant press secretary Feckless Spinmeister. The illustrations were done by The New Yorker magazine cartoonist Jack Ziegler.